No Mistakes, Just Good Lessons.

(all of these photos are views from my yard this winter.)

My front porch in the summer.  Can't wait. :)

Despite my personal pledge to blog more often, I have found myself distracted by art more than ever before.  I spend every waking minute madly working, testing, trying new things, basically toiling away at work that has resulted in very few finished pieces in the last few months.  In the past, I would have been panicked, dismayed even, by my lack of productive results.   But for some reason, this year brings a different set of goals for me.  I used to paint with the goal to finish something each day, to feel like I accomplished something.  I thought that if I finished a painting, regardless of the quality or topic, I would feel complete.  For some reason, this year my mind has made a complete 180.  I no longer need to finish something every day.  In fact, I have many dozens of unfinished "somethings" all ongoing right now, whether it be in glass, oil, or ink.   I don't like the feeling of it, but I push it to the back of my mind telling myself that it doesn't matter;  all of those unfinished works in my pile of tears are Lessons.  No mistakes, just lessons.  I've learned something from every single piece. It's hard for me to believe that I have worked for so many hours every day and have so little to show that is concrete;  i.e, ready to sell.  But I know that every minute I have spent working matters, and will show for itself in time.  I think I am finally learning the art of patience and perhaps discipline.

  Soon, I will post my January and February pile of unfinished tears.  Some I will likely finish, some I will not and they go into the "burn pile".   For now, I am still toiling away, trying to find a solution for some, or giving some the final nod of goodbye.   Despite the harshness of this winter, I have found that it is a sanctuary of sorts for me.  I have had no choice but to hole up in my studio and bundle up in multiple layers much like I did in my youth when I lived in Vermont and New Hampshire. I remember so many early mornings of getting dressed under the covers because our heat was a wood burning stove that we didn't waste time or resources starting in the morning before school.  I remember riding the sled down the mountain, standing it upright in the snow pile to pick up on the way home for the next mornings ride.  I remember the long trudge up the hill on days like this, knowing that the fire would have to be started, and the house would be cold until it was "stoked".  I remember the bus rides, and the smell of sap in March when the sugaring started.  I long for the days that were so simple.  The power was out for a few hours today.  Not because of the weather, but because of a young careless driver who hit the pole in front of our house on a snowy day.  The quiet in the house was deafening, but I felt at peace.  It made me realize why I get agitated when there is so much noise and activity.  Often I thought it was me and over sensitivity.  Perhaps it's not just me.  

    The snow piles that are piled over 10 feet high covering my studio window give me comfort in a strange way.  Perhaps this is part of why I am in a good place right now, in the midst of all this snow and disengagement.  It's as if I've come home.   

"Bo"

8x10 oil on stretched canvas NFS

I painted "Bo" for my son's girlfriend. She wanted to give her dad something special for his birthday, and this was a dog he lost to cancer several years ago. What a sad story, he would take the dog to a clinic hours away every week for chemo treatments, that didn't end up working anyway. Initially she sent me a photo from her cell phone taken of a framed picture of Bo, glass glare and all! I laughed and told her no way could I do him justice without seeing the actual photo or at least a decent scan, so she brought me the photo and here he is! I hope her dad likes it.

The kids are finally all back at school, and I've been working really hard for the past few weeks on my studio that is in the barn. When I started painting, I started this past winter and used the sunporch...my studio in the barn is cold in the winter and also it was filled to the brim with glass fusing equipment and supplies....I tend to be a hoarder when it comes to art supplies so this summer I've slowly been going through my stuff and throwing and giving lots away.....I'm almost 90% there, and I will have a wonderful studio for year-round if I can find an efficient way to heat it! It's approximately 12 feet by 36 feet, insulated with a concrete floor, that will be partially carpeted when I'm finished. Suggestions appreciated if you have them. I tried an Eden pure heater last year, and it did not heat sufficiently.....

Will post pics soon, I've even made a small "gallery" area in the back of the studio to hang my finished pieces....I'm itching to get back to painting all day once this is complete.

Sometimes the best laid plans......

This week is going to be a crazy week to say the least....I've kind of been in hibernation since January, only coming out long enough to do my daily paintings, then crawling back in my wintery hole waiting for spring. I have seriously (albeit very willingly and consciencly) neglected my glass fusing.

A little history here: When I graduated with my degree in Art Education in 2005 (I was a non-traditional student, single mom of 4, and took the "scenic route" to finishing college.....in other words, it only took me 17 years to complete....TWICE.(a story for another time), I truly thought I would find a teaching position and that that's what I would do until I retired. What's that saying...."sometimes the best laid plans"....or something like that......

Anyway, 6 years later, with a few teaching bits here and there, I've come to the conclusion that I am destined to be an artist, not an art teacher (for now) I'm ok with that, and after much initial frustration, soul-searching, and most importantly the support of my ever-loving, extremely understanding, and supportive love-of -my-life, I'm pursuing my dream of being "just an artist". I realize now that I went the "education" route because I got divorced, and panicked about supporting my 4 kids. When I met Jim, I was given the best gift any artist could ask for: Time. (and of course a huge studio in the barn on 5 gorgeous rural acres to create, my sanctuary)

Ack, I digress....my whole point in this post was to share my glass fusing.

When I graduated, my first job as a "teacher" was at a Boys and Girls Club. If you've never been to one, or don't know what it is, I can't express enough what a haven this is for disadvantaged youth. I was a Unit Director, in charge of implenting programs at a junior high school to keep kids off the streets, give guidance, offer a safe place for them to pursue activities like sports, art, homework, and so much more....this is truly a great place to involve yourself in if you ever get the chance. Having just completed a degree in Art, I wanted to share my excitement for it and also teach the kids something they might not experience even in their regular art class at school. I had been wanting to learn glass fusing for several years, after purchasing a glass necklace at an art festival....I decided I would wear it as a daily reminder until I figured out how it was done......I believe I wore it for 2 years until I learned how to do it....with the help of several "strangers" along the way. This is actually a good story about the spirit of artists and humanity willing to share what they know, give from their heart, and expect nothing in return...a story that deserves it's own "post". Ultimately I learned how to fuse glass, and share it with the kids at the Boys and Girls club, and sell the work they created at the annual fundraiser for the club. You cannot imagine the pride in these kids to have someone buy something they made, to give it tangible value, and in a sense, support themselves.....sigh, another story for another day, and again I digress!!!....such is the mind of a truly scattered artist.....left-handed to boot!

Anyway....I spent 5 years learning the art of glass, selling it at shows locally and online, basically immersing myself in it. Not once in the past 5 years did I pause and think I would ever stop making glass. Right after Christmas, I hit the GLASS WALL. I was just done. Burned out, in a rut, whatever you want to call it. I decided to take a short break and just paint for a couple weeks....ummm....yeah. If you've been following my blog, you know a few weeks has turned into almost 4 months and I'm on a roll now...in painting that is. And I have no intention of stopping for a long time.

However.

I was cajoled into being a part of a huge show in Toledo with a new art group I joined for emerging artists. I did not want to do this event. I politely declined at first, too busy with my painting and hibernating to bother. Then I thought about it. I have crates and crates of finished glass product gathering dust in my studio. I also have a friend in need more than I....A fellow artist and former co-worker , undergoing cancer treatment, supporting a family, and out of work with no pay until he is better. He has a "studio" in his garage that is in need of a few repairs.....well actually more than a few, perhaps a WALL, or some INSULATION, or maybe even an EASEL!!! Shame on me for letting things sit in boxes when they could go to good use in the healing process of not just a fellow artist, but a dear friend who stood by me when times were tough. "Ok", I told the organizer of the event, "I'm in"

I'm a simple person. I don't need my nails done, I get my hair cut once every 3 years, I don't wear shoes often so I certainly don't need 100 pairs , and except for the 10 pounds of weight (ok, maybe 20) I gained when I turned 40, I don't need new clothes...I'll just get paint on them anyway. A long time ago I was taught it was better to give than recieve. Somewhere along the way I was blessed to meet a giver, who gave me new life in the form of a studio, of time, and respect for what I do.....it's my turn to give back too. So here are a few examples of my "other" artform. If you're in the Toledo area and want to stop by the Artomatic 419, come say hello. If you feel compelled, buy a piece of glass....all proceeds go to supporting someone's art dream much the same way mine has been. If you're out of the area, and are interested in my glasswork, I will be posting whatever has not sold on my etsy site in a few weeks to benefit this much needed "recovery studio"......I'll keep you posted.