Taking a Leap

5x5 fused glass, In Progress (after 2 firings) 

6x8, in progress, not yet fired

6x12 in progress, not yet fired, first attempt with the glass paint I have been developing.

In progress, experiments with glass paint continued (left 2 pieces) Poppies in progress, 2nd firing

Here are a few recent works in progress, most need another firing or two with additional detail.  I've been working on a variety of ideas lately, but I enjoy working from older black and white photographs I took years ago.  I am continuing my experiments with pigments and fluxes to achieve a paint with a viscosity that I am comfortable working with.  It is time consuming with lots of trial and error and failures, but with each failure I eliminate another variable.  As an added and unplanned for bonus, after taking the pastel workshop last month, I was inspired to also try to develop a line of pastels for use on glass so I am also using the pigments and experimenting with various formulas to achieve a usable pastel that can be fired on glass.  I have learned quickly that accurate measurement and precise note-taking are a must, something my ADD brain fights daily.  I owe much thanks to my good friends Gloria Moses, Laurie Mueller, and Trish Lyons Ansert  who encourage and inspire me to keep trying new things, offering much needed positive input and support.  My new kiln will make a huge impact on the direction I am able to go with my art.  And as always, I am grateful to my loving and patient fiance who trusts that I know where I'm going with this thing called art and taking a leap of faith that I will someday make a living with it :)

Finally, great news! (I saved the best for last) 

I received some unexpected news yesterday (coincidently, or perhaps prophetically, while I was picking up my new kiln at the time)  A couple of months ago I applied for a workshop at the Corning Museum of Glass in Corning NY, located in the Finger Lake region of Northern NY. CMOG is the world's largest glass museum and home to The Studio, an internationally renowned facility that offers glass making classes from some of the top glass artists of our time. 

I applied for a week long workshop with artist Catharine Newell called "Taking a Leap"  Catharine is renowned for her use of glass powders in her work, a direction I have been taking recently.  The Corning Museum offers a scholarship program to cover the cost of the workshop and hotel costs for the week, including a day before and a day after the workshop to utilize the research library and museum.  I did not expect to be accepted, let alone get a scholarship for $1,500, covering almost all of the expenses of the week long course.  Needless to say, I am very excited for the opportunity!   

Writing, Symphonies, and an Old Man

"Ernie" 8x10 glass

I have often thought that I should have been a writer instead of an artist.  In college, I loved being given a topic to defend or analyze, or a book to try to derive further meaning. It made me feel smart.  One of my proudest moments was when I received my first graded essay back from my English Composition II professor. Mr. C, (I cannot remember his name for the life of me)(yes, that's a cliche followed by a contraction, both unheard of in formal writing, but cut me some slack, it's a blog ;)

 Anyway, Mr. C proclaimed on the first day of class that he does not give A+ grades and rarely will even give an "A".  I was ok with that. I expected nothing greater than a B anyway, based on my lackluster high school performance in writing. As he handed back the papers, I asked if we could re-write our paper for a better grade.  He ignored my question and continued to hand out the papers.  When he finally returned mine to me, I was shaking in fear that I had failed.  Flipping to the last page,  I was shocked to see the scrawled red  A+ on the last page and lavish words of praise that I did not expect.  After my initial bit of pride and self admiration, I admit I was actually a little disappointed. That was it. A+.  The best there was to earn, to achieve. But it did not sit well with me.   It meant I had nothing else to do; nothing to fix, and worse, nothing to strive for.

 My nature was always to strive to be the the best I could be, whether it be in track, the Navy, art, parenting.  I loved a challenge.   However, a top grade on my first paper of the semester was a bit of a conundrum for me.  I had exceeded my professors expectations right out of the blocks.  How could anything I wrote from that day forward ever compare to the highest grade this professor had ever given in his career and had made very clear that there was no such thing as a perfect paper?

 Confused, and more than a bit intimidated, I approached his desk after class and asked him why did I get a perfect grade when he had been adamant that no such thing existed.  He thought for minute before he spoke: "How could I give anything less to a paper that did not have a single grammatical error but also read like a symphony?" Insecure and very shy back then, I simply nodded and turned away, even more confused. Symphony? I couldn't play chopsticks on the piano, words like symphony were not in my vocabulary.  No grammatical errors? I guarantee a grammar check of this blog post would turn up more than several.

Why do I share this story now?  To be honest, I am not sure.  My intention is certainly not to brag about my high grade achievement in English composition two decades ago at a local college.  I am certain that I have something relevant to share here, but perhaps that is for you to figure out, I simply don't know.  However, here is what prompted this post:

I was inspired to write this when an artist friend posted on her blog her experience this past year as a full time artist after quitting her stable job in the corporate world.  She talked about how grateful she is to be doing what she loves, despite what others said to discourage her from it.  Reading her post, I remembered my love for writing, and questioned myself as to why I never pursued it.    There are many answers I suppose, perhaps you readers might be able to untangle the mystery for me, but for now I am happy pursuing my art.   As I go through the long days in the studio,  I compare each firing of a piece of glass, or each wipe of the canvas to the numerous times I would read and re-read and edit a simple essay to make it perfect.  I realize now that my writing back then was not much different than the paintings I paint, or the glass art I create.  I was perfecting my craft, trying to make a masterpiece.  Writing was easy for me, I suppose that's why I rejected it.  If it wasn't hard work it wasn't worth doing.  When I first started selling my paintings years ago on Ebay( the first year ebay was on the internet), I couldn't keep up with the demand, yet I was uncomfortable with the prices the paintings were selling for, even though the market was dictating the price.  I stopped selling my paintings online to go back to college to be a "real" artist.   I never wanted to be perceived as talented but rather as a hard worker.  It is all I know.  What I didn't know back then was that I was working hard, and had worked very hard to get to the point where I could paint the paintings that seemed to come so easily to me.  I guess I was looking at the sales of my paintings like the A+ on the essay.  I needed a bigger challenge, it was too easy.  (Side note:  If I could go back in time and re do this, I would keep painting and selling and would probably not be typing this blog now.  such is life)

I remember distinctly every paper I wrote for each book we read in that class.  There were 5 of them, the final one being Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway.   A short novel, with simple words, it was by far my favorite book to write about.  It is about a young boy who sees an old washed out fisherman struggle to keep doing what he loves even at the very end of his life, and he wants to help him.  The old man resists the boys help, but the boy does not give up trying to help, nor does the old man give up his dream of the "big fish".  Many people see the book as the struggle with man and age, or the relationship with him and the boy,  but I looked at it with the perspective of leaving a legacy.  At the end of his life, the old man wanted to leave his mark, his legacy. Ultimately, his legacy was his impact on the boy, not so much the battle with the fish.   Isn't that what we all want?  To leave a permanent impression or impact on the world when we are gone?  This is why I paint.  I want to leave a legacy, not just in spirit for those who share this brief journey with me, but for generations to come.   So while my art my not speak of social injustice, inequality, current events, gender issues, etc...my art reflects my life, what I love, my family, where I come from, and where I am going. I do not need to paint pictures of worlds not my own, I paint what is within reach and relevent to me.  This is not to say I condemn those that do, because often times it is easier to paint that which we do not know.  I too will paint a subject foriegn to me.  But my body of work, my proudest pieces, will be obvious, and come from the story that is my life.  My art friend commented on a piece that I created that is based on my memories as a young girl growing up in Concord NH.  She asked: "how could you ever part with this piece?"  Referring to : "A Street Called Home", which is a glass collage of all my favorite things, memories, and mental glimpses of the days I spent downtown, I responded: " I have the important memories permanently etched in my brain, I need nothing more that that.  Besides, I can make more art, memories are priceless"  I hope to create more in this series in the months to come.

Thank you Nancy Medina, for your post that reminded me of why I create, and to just keep painting what I love, the rest will follow.  

p.s.I know the time will come that I will realize that I have to write.  I have many stories to tell, but no time to tell them now, I have stories to paint and create.  For now, here is a short one:

"Ernie" is a fused glass piece from a photo I took a few years ago.  I attended a family reunion with a friend where I knew no one else at the picnic.  Feeling a bit awkward, I busied myself with my camera and snapped many photos of people just being people.  Uncle Ernie was the only one at the reunion who tried to get to know me.  He was a truly sincere gentleman, with a smile an acre wide, and the most clear blue eyes I've ever seen.  I've wanted to paint this image of him since the day I took it, and this is my first attempt.  The painting above is in powdered glass, a very difficult medium to control.  There will likely be several more in other media.  This  painting is part of Ernie's legacy, though it is  likely he will never know.  I don't even know if he is still alive, but I hope so. He impacted my life one hot summer day just by being kind to a stranger.  That's legacy enough for me.

Breaking the Rules

In progress 8x10 fused glass

4x4 Juicy Pear fused glass

When it comes to life, I don't break too many rules.  However, with art I seem to go out of my way to break every hard and fast rule out there, especially with glass.  Sometimes this is due to my own rebellious nature and I want to see for myself what will happen even if the "experts" advise otherwise.  For example, most glass artists are told never to open the kiln until it is at room temperature.  I break this rule A LOT.  Most of the time I do it with test pieces or experimental things and I don't want to waste any more time than necessary waiting for it to cool.  I don't mind if test pieces aren't properly annealed since they are just for my own learning, so I fling open the lid and enjoy the heat warming up my studio.  Sometimes, I over fire things in my kiln because it is old and doesn't have a pyrometer.  Unless I sit with my eye glued to the peephole, it's hard to judge when it will be ready.  Again, I use this kiln for my test pieces and experiments, relying on my other kiln with the confusing digital controller to pay attention for me.  Today was one of those fun days where I had some really cool results from my lack of attention.  I'm going to actually try to repeat the same mistake deliberately to see if I get consistent results, and if so, I will share the outcome, but suffice it to say, it's something I haven't seen out there in the fused glass community so it could have been a one time fluke.

Here are some of my works in progress from February.  I'm saving my pennies to buy a bigger kiln.  I'm limited in sizes under 8x10 for now.  Many of the pieces I did in Jan and Feb were based off of a painting I did in oil.  It was easier for me to try to achieve the painterly look by using a subject that was easy for me.

I promised to post some of my piles of tears, and the piles have grown.  I meant to actually finish some of them before posting the piles, but I keep moving on to new projects.  Likely these will languish in my studio for some time........

one of many of my piles of tears

For those of you that are wondering if I will ever paint again, the answer is yes (I'm even taking a one day workshop in a couple weeks) but I  never anticipated this winter would run into March and still be in the negative digits.  My paint is in my barn studio and the cool temps are not conducive to good paintings and it takes forever for them to warm up to proper consistency.  For now, I'm quite content "painting" with glass and breaking all kinds of rules in my studio.   Speaking of breaking.  This piece befuddled me.  It shouldn't have broken.  I can't figure out what happened.  Anyway, it was a test piece for a larger one of my studio.  I'm happy with where it was going so I will definitely be doing a larger version.  I've been experimenting with a lot of different techniques and materials but I plan on doing some series as soon as I get my glass order. I'm liking the printmaking look of the one below so I plan on playing around with that a bit more, but my main goal is to achieve a look in glass that I do in oil painting.

I am applying for summer art shows and will be at all of my usual haunts and hopefully some new ones .  Expect to see some very different work this year, and a few surprises too ;)

Chance of a Lifetime and Catching up again.....

12x16 oil on panel "Birches Revisited" $150 click HERE to buy

6x6 oil on panel "Cedar Point Marina" Click HERE to bid.  Starts at $20

"Not all Roses are Red" 5x7 oil on panel Click HERE to bid.

As always I'm playing catch up with my blog, but I'm starting to be ok with that.  Perhaps you all don't want to hear from me everyday anyway eh?  Here are a few of my latest paintings, just kind of plodding along with subject matter and getting through the winter blues.  

I also have a link to share for a friend and fellow artist.  She rec'd an offer that would could be likened to a painter getting the opportunity to study with Van Gogh or Monet. A chance of a lifetime, if you will.  However, in order to accomplish this she has to raise the traveling costs herself.  Click HERE to read the story/fundraising campaign if you are interested.  Kelly Alge she has been a great mentor to me and has taught me everything I know about glass work art, and is just a great person all around.

SOS please help an artist in need

For those of you that have been following my blog since I started, you know that one of my dearest and most loyal friends has been battling colon cancer for the past year and a half.  He has undergone major surgery, radiation, and ongoing chemotherapy.  Two months ago he received the news that everyone was dreading: 6 months at best.  Scott has been out of work since he began battling his illness and the medical bills are piling up, as well as regular household bills.   As he continues to try to fight this horrible disease with experimental treatment, he lives in a sweltering old house with his wife and 2 children with an electrical system that won't support air conditioning.  I know this past Father's Day was bittersweet for him, and it's too painful to imagine how this summer home with his kids must be for him. Even the thought of a final family vacation is just a pipe dream for Scott.  Final expenses will be an extreme hardship in not an impossibility for the family if a miracle doesn't show up. 

Scott is an artist like many of us and dreams of leaving this world with dignity and with a legacy. Throughout his struggle Scott has maintained the most positive attitude I have ever seen, always available to help his friends.  My wish is to raise enough money for the family as well as a scholorship fund to an art school in his honor, art is what keeps him going everyday and has been a huge part of dealing with his battle with cancer. 


 I know many of you have helped in the past when I asked for help for him, and I appreciate it more than you will ever know, but this time it is more important than ever, and no amount is too small. Even just sharing this story with your friends and followers is a gift.   I am organizing a major fundraiser in August in my hometown and if you wish to help or donate there are several ways you can do so, and one doesn't cost a cent.  In my life experience I have found artists to be the most generous of any other group of people.


1.  Donate a piece of art for our silent auction.  Scott's deep love and appreciation made this fundraiser a no-brainer, it has been his dream to have an event with artists and art from everywhere.  If you are willing to donate art or even another item for silent auction please contact me via email at fundraisersos@yahoo.com for my mailing address.  I will be happy to pay for the cost of shipping, just let me know the cost.


2.  Sponsor one of Scott's friends or family members who otherwise could not afford to attend the event.  (or attend yourself!) Ticket prices are $50 each for the SOS Gala on August 10th and that price is simply out of reach for many.  Our theme will be Caribbean Treasure and will feature Glass City Steel Drums and other live bands and entertainment. Official details such as time and location will be available no later than this friday, but it will either be in Findlay Ohio or Toledo Ohio. Click the Donate button below for this option. (please specify with the donation if this is a sponsor or a ticket purchase) (if you wish to purchase or sponsor a table of 8, please email me directly at fundaisersos@yahoo.com and I will send an invoice)  

3.  WIN a commissioned masterpiece.  My friend Kelly Alge who is the amazing glass artist that gave me my start in fused glass is selling a  chance to win a commissioned piece of your choice for a $5 donation. ($700 value) ..Here is an example of several of her recent pieces.   To donate for a chance to win a piece like this with your idea in mind click HERE   Feel free to enter as many times as you wish to increase your chances.

4.  Make a donation for ANY amount through paypal 

5.  Send him a message of hope.  Our theme for the Gala is SOS (support our Scott) and it will be a Caribbean party with messages in a bottle.  We will be collecting messages to put in a giant bottle for Scott to read as he continues his battle.  you may email me your message at fundraisersos@yahoo.com  and I will add it to the bottle for the event.


6. Purchase one of his mugs or prints depicting one of his drawings of the drug attacking colon cancer OR breast cancer (his sister is currently fighting breast cancer) 
Here is his WEBSITE 

These Boots are Made for Marching.....

8x10 oil on panel

I painted this before I left for my workshop last week but didn't have time to post it, so here it is now.....If you've been following my Boot Camp series, you know my son in in Great Lakes IL becoming a sailor in finest Navy in the world :)  He has less than a week left and I will be traveling to Waukegan to see him graduate...I am soooo proud, there are no words.....


Also, something for me to look forward to when I get back is an art form I've wanted to try for a long time...I used to do a lot of glass fusing before I started painting, and have somehow wanted to try to meld the two together....Kelly Alge has mastered it and is going to give a workshop on the ins and outs of Sgraffito drawing in glass.....Please visit her BLOG , her work is incredible.... Here is what I will be learning

Priceless

I have no finished paintings to post this week, but lots of good stories, and tomorrow I leave for New Hampshire to visit my folks and my home!!! I spent the past weekend enjoying our beautiful weather on the boat, fishing and enjoying family and sunshine, today and yesterday caring for my fiance who had his first colonoscopy experience, and meeting new people in the art world who are in need of art teachers for people with special needs and the elderly. When I saw the call for help I knew I needed to respond, even if it was for no pay at all. My oldest son is autistic and no one sees the need for understanding, structure, and creativity more than the mother of a child with special needs. How could I say no? I meet the first group of kids tomorrow, and I can hardly wait.

Then there was The Argument.

The big facebook disagreement.

I bit my tongue for as long as I could but no more.....Many artists may relate to this "discussion" on artists donating or giving to charity. Obviously, this is up to each one of us to give as we are able to whomever we choose, but this discussion went beyond just giving, it became downright heated about artists' self worth and value and cost and expense and on and on. I personally would give everything away if I could. This person would give nothing and sell at the highest possible cost. Obviously we are at opposite ends of a moral dilemma, so why did I engage? after much thought, I assessed and asked myself why am i a giver (besides the fact that I was raised to be that way by my mom) so here is my story.............

I have a reason why I never say no when someone asks me for a donation of my art. This is a good story, and actually involves one of our members (my local art group) although I'm not sure if she remembers me, because (shamefully) I never properly thanked her.... 6 years ago, during my first job as an art teacher out of college and a single mom with no extra money to spare, I took a job in Lorain Ohio for the Boys and Girls Club heading up their after school program. I've never seen such desperate need as I did in this program, most kids were hungry, ill clothed, and dismal home lives....I ran a program that served at least 100 kids after school. Right after I started, the regional club announced a fundraiser and wanted donations for their silent auction. I wanted to teach the kids self reliance and pride in creating something that benefitted them, as well as others....I wanted them to feel the sense of pride that comes from earning their way. (an aside note: I started working when I was 11, picking blueberries with my siblings on an orchard in Vermont in exchange for the rent my mom had to pay. 10 months out of the year we lived in an old barn designed as a small dorm for migrant workers....the 2 months during harvest we were on our own, one of those years we spent in a one room schoolhouse with no running water or facilities....this was in the early 80's by the way, not the 1800's.....but I knew what hard work meant, and my mom set the bar high by her example.) I had fixed it in my mind that fused glass pendants was the answer, having seen them at the local art shows earlier that year. Through happenstance I learned the name of an artist in Findlay that might be able to help me out. To this day, I can't believe what I asked of her, because in hindsight the request was huge, but I was new to glass art and at the time I didn't realize the value of what she gave. She offerred supplies, several hours of her time, (with all her children happily running around while we chatted) and would fire the finished pieces for me since I had no kiln and didn't know what I was doing....I took a lot and she recieved nothing. The project was a huge success, and the pieces sold for a total of over $2,000....plus the kids all got to keep one for themselves. Years later, at a show in Whitehouse (a town 2 hours from where I worked) I was selling my own fused glass and a customer (who was an english teacher) showed me a piece she was wearing and told me this incredible story about a boys and girls club director in Lorain who brought such pride to the wayward kids at this school where she taught, showing them how to make fused glass and selling it....at first I was just being the polite artist, smiling and nodding and listening to her story, but then nearly choked when I realized she was talking about ME. I was very humbled that day. However, it made me realize that I never thanked the one person who helped me get my start. Kelly Crosser Alge gave alot of materials and time when she helped me, and never knew the outcome of her gift....well there it is, not just in dollars, not just in the lives of those kids who would never know that kind of art, but now in the lives of those that I give to because of her example. I always tell people that I give to or donate to, that someone helped me get started once, when I needed a hand up, and if they ever find themselves in the position to give, that I don't need payback, but to pay it forward, So even though I said I was done talking about this topic, I feel like this story needed to be shared. Sometimes you just don't know the impact a small gesture can be, and that alone has no pricetag.

By the way, if you ever want to buy the most gorgeous fused glass around, check out the work of Kelly Crosser-Alge. I know this, because she was my teacher.